A Critical Analysis of the Holy Matrimony Quagmire for the Black Man and Black Woman

 

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From the Melanin Man:

How ironic I discuss this topic only a couple of days from my anniversary. But I feel the need to get this off my chest right now, so to hell with it.

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I haven’t been married that long. Most would assume that I need more years under my belt to be qualified to speak on the topic of marriage, to spit out some worthwhile wisdom.

Well, I beg to differ.

In the four years that I’ve been “officially” married (not counting two years of courting and breaking up, making up sessions), I’ve learned a lifetime’s worth of wisdom regarding this pastime called marriage. And that wisdom has been supplemented with even more knowledge from speaking with older men and elders who have been married (and some cases, divorced!) longer than I’ve been married.

I have observed many things within the confines of marriage, but there are three in particular that stand out to me, such as:

     1.    Man and woman (the definition of a authentic marriage) tend to come into the situation with  unrealistic expectations of who and what their spouse SHOULD be to them. When I decided go through my personal transformation, my wife was supportive when it came to improving my physical health and losing weight, even though she did not like the method that I was going about it. It was major adjustment for her when I dropped meat from my diet, and she continues to this day to remind me how she misses that part of me.

Regarding my intellectually and spiritual growth, she has had major reservations. Giving up religion and traditional concept of God has not gone over well for her. She does not fully respect my newfound opinions on what Black life should be, the importance of melanin, how life and reality is not what it seems, etc. She is weary of the direction that I am going.

2.        In this Westernized version of marriage,  it is virtually impossible to have a relationship (intimate or non-intimate) with the opposite sex, other than your spouse. Surprise, surprise. This one is a given. But if know anything about the nature of man, it is not the most realistic to maintain. Recently in my life, I have came across women who have intrigued me, not necessarily sexually, but mentally and spiritually in ways that have been comparable, and in some cases, more than what I have received from my wife.

And you know the funny thing? I don’t feel once ounce of guilt.

3.         The imagery of a marriage in this society matters a little too much these days. We know marriage will not be “perfect” from any stretch of the imagination. But that doesn’t stop married folk from putting on a front in the midst of family and friends. Everyone wants to play Keep Up With the Jones. Every married couple on some level seeks to strive for that white picket fence, “American Dream” fantasy. Competition, a sacred American tradition, is the sacred underlying factor in all of this.

I’ve never been the competitive type either. At this juncture in my life, I don’t give two flying you-know-whats about what people think about me. Now, my wife on the other hand…

She’s not materialistic whatsoever, but  she does have a very strong tendency to care about what others think about her, and that extends into the family unit. That appears to be a common trait amongst Westernized, Americanized women, no matter ethnicity.

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This Westernized, religified version of marriage serves as a microcosm to the current reality that dominates the scene, a restrictive condition to the true nature and potential of the archetypal Black Man and Black Woman.

As I stated in a post concerning the drawbacks of compromising, in reference to individual growth, when both spouses have totally different mindsets it creates problems.  I said it once, I said it twice, and I’ll say it again: MEN CREATE THE REALITY, WOMEN MAINTAIN IT! In my case, I have chosen a mindset that embraces my Black nature, and I desire to create the reality based off of it. My wife, like the majority of our Black women in this paradigm, has the mindset of what I explained in number 3 above (and here.)  And there is the dilemma.

I want nothing to do with that foolishness. It goes against everything that I’m trying to be as a Black Man who is becoming more aware by the millisecond. The sad part about it is that I truly and dearly love my wife, and there is potential in her to cross over into the dark side.

But love is NOT enough in this war for Black liberation.

Despite what has been preached by the state and its sheep, love and marriage are not synonymous with each other. Now, I understand why arranged marriages were prevalent and still occur to this day, basically because it’s not based off the superficiality of love we’ve been duped into practicing these days (Gotta check out “The Science of Love” by John Baines, folks!) Marriage SHOULD be considered a partnership, a business arrangement to achieve a common goal. In the case of liberation for the Black Man and Black Woman and a return back to their archetypal selves, marriage SHOULD be used as a weapon to achieve that goal.

For any other reason, we’re just playing a GAME, like any other card game, board game, or video game we’ve past the time with. That’s what the powers-that-be (or the powers-that-wanna-be) have turned it into, a profitable one on so many levels. And just like any game you play, you have boundaries, rules and regulations you have to abide by.

“NO CHEATING ON THE TEST.”

“NO CHEATING ON YOUR TAXES.”

“NO CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE.”

Aha!

 

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(Side note 1: I can do a post strictly on the word “cheat”, and how the powers-that-wanna-be use the label to keep people in check. I just might.)

I always wondered when it came to the topic of having affairs, mistresses, side chicks or side dudes, the accused would be cursed with that label.

 

 

Courtesy of Google  :

cheat

v.

1. act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage especially in a game or examination.

2. avoid (something undesirable) by luck or skill.

n.

1. a person who behaves dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.

 

 

A couple of questions:

1.     If you told your spouse upfront you  were having feelings or thoughts for another man/woman without physically acting on it, would you still be a “cheater?” 

The act has already been birthed in your mind, so the act has already occurred.  That’s what matters anyway…mind OVER matter, baby!

2.    Are you really cursed with sin because you had feelings for another man/woman besides your spouse?

(I’m telling you, you need to check out that book.)

Take a look at nature amongst animals. How many monogamous relationships do you find in the animal kingdom? “But man is greater than animal,” you say. “He should know better than.” Is that your ego talking or are you’re just  repeating what you’ve been told?

I can say with all honesty that the animal kingdom has an advantage. A tiger knows what it is. An eagle knows what it is. A bear knows what it is.

Do you know what you are, Black Man and Black Woman?

 

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Once upon a time long ago, when Black folk dominated the world stage,  polygamy was not a side-eye taboo. It was our culture. A few countries today still practice the tradition, but it’s not prevalent as it used to be. And definitely not in the regions of the earth that it should be in this day and age.

Every wonder why polygamy is illegal and shunned in the West (the dominant power at the moment?) IGNORE the propaganda, it just so happens the cream-of-the-crop Black Men and Women also reside in the West. Even though the majority of us are the walking dead, our genes are still  second-to-none on the planet. This is due in part to the times of “slavery”, with the mixing of blood between the different captive African tribes.

When the time comes when we WAKE UP (its happening as we speak in bits and pieces), and we practice that culture and walk out our destiny…

Oh…boy.

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The Black Man, who is connected to his archetypal self and knows HIS-story, has the capability to love more than one woman.  That same Black Man will not fool around with any woman outside of the one he already has if they are not of the same frequency, and if it does not perpetuate a reality of Black empowerment and unity that can benefit ALL PARTIES INVOLVED.

The Black Woman, who is connected to her archetypal self and knows her culture, understands and overstands that her worth is NOT determined by the ability to have and KEEP her man. The Black Woman knows her ability to nurture the spark of that man (his seed, which, in the physical form translates to children, and the mental and spiritual form translates to that reality mentioned previously) is of the upmost importance.

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In this paradigm, the state has used marriage in its limited form as a tool to keep not only Black folk, but the masses in general, docile, under control, and for accounting purposes. They have certainly made marriage an institution that is CONSUMERISTIC BY NATURE and only benefits those who wish to keep and maintain power.

What is one of the top reasons for divorce (which is another lucrative byproduct from marriage if and when it dissolves, concocted by the state?)

Finances.

A consumeristic marriage is a prosperous marriage in this reality.

Remember when I said marriage is only a “microcosm” on what occurs on the grand scale?

Can you imagine a marital union structure that doesn’t have to depend on fiat money to be successful? One where there was less competition and more cooperation and sharing amongst one another?

Less capitalistic and more collective?

LESS MONOGOMOUS AND MORE POLYGAMOUS???

Our husbands and wives would stop looking at each other as their property, and more like unique beings in the human form. 

(Side note 2: You apply this thinking in religion, it’s funny how the popular religions of today are styled in monotheism, versus polytheism that was prominent back in the day. Just saying…)

 

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I can go on and on about this, and there will probably be more posts to follow concerning this matter. But I think I’ve said enough to digest for a while on this one.

What I’ve said I don’t say out of spite or misery.  Because besides the occasional argument me and my wife may have or the observations I listed previously, I’m pretty satisfied with my marriage. We have a good situation going on, according the benchmark set by the current paradigm.

I’m just calling it like I see it. I seek  liberation in and around my life on every level; the status quo doesn’t bother her that much. It is only so far we can go before one of us will have to submit and compromise to keep this ball rolling.

Hopefully it’s not muah. But that’s why we play the game, so to speak.

SMH…that’s a crying shame.

 

 

Peace and Love to my melanated family,

The Melanin Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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BLACKMAN-BLACKWOMAN Series: Black Men, Where Do We Go From Here?

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From the Melanin Man:

 

I’ve been meaning to push to post out now for a couple weeks, but been sidetracked with my mundane work tasks lol. It may be my birthday today (yay!) but I’ve been needing to get this post off my chest, so…

(Side note: Plus, let’s be real. If the current calendar had never been concocted by the powers-that-be, we would never know when our birthdays would be. Is it really that big of a deal? lol )

I wrote  about the  importance of our women, now it’s time to focus on the Black Man.

 

 

 

To my Black brothers from other mothers, I have to be honest with you…

We are the walking dead!

And I’m not just talking about those of us who are in jail, unemployed, deadbeat husbands and fathers, or whatever label the media places on us.

I’m talking about the ENTIRE LOT of us. Even the very small few of us who are succeeding, according to European standards, are fading away as well.

Ask yourself this question, Black Man: Are you REALLY the head of your household when you’re respecting the rules and regulations put in place by another species of man? When will we realize that we can’t break away from those who don’t care for us if they are the ones educating, employing, clothing, and feeding us?  

No wonder  the  majority of our Black Women have lost respect for us, Black Man, consciously and subconsciously. Whether or not we’re living in the household.

Who told us and set the standard for what a legal marriage should be?

Who gives us the two thumbs up when we decide choose to divorce?

Who do our women run to in order to receive child support and alimony from?

For me personally, the more I see the bullshit, the more I realize I’m NOT the man I want or need to be! Black Man, we need to create our own reality, a reality that will benefit the welfare of our women and children.

 

 

We should NOT mimic a man who is quite honestly physically, mentally, and spiritually inferior to the Black Man in every way.

WE should NOT place the protection and security of that reality within the womb of a woman who is NOT the original woman on the planet, the Black Woman.

(Another side note: Even at a young age, my mama would tell me, “You betta not bring no white gurl to my house.” Funny thing is, my mama is not nearly as conscious as I am today. She’s a Christian woman through and through lol. But she was aware enough to make such a statement.  I could never understand how a self-proclaimed woman of God could say such a thing.

But as I gotten older, I get it. No matter how much the media tries to brainwash us, nature is nature. If you are of nature, you want to be with your own.

Annnnnnd, it made me realize how much of a farce religion truly is. )

 

Black Man, bottom line, you are NOT EQUAL to your white, Caucasoid counterpart! For those of you who disagree, I don’t apologize. You can call me prejudice, racist, or flat out a bigot. This is how I see it, and there ain’t nothing going to change that.

So what should we aspire to be, brethren?

When you carry the God-particle (MELANIN!), you are suppose to express yourself and reality as such: in a GOD-FORM!!  That may sound preposterous, even borderline pompous and arrogant to many of us quite frankly.

But do your research. It’s TRUTH!

What is God?

I don’t believe in that superhero, -miracle-working human archetype, birthed from the Westernized, European frame of mind. That’s how the white, Caucasoid mindset perceives it, and want the masses to perceive it.

In my opinion, God is boundless and unlimited in its creativity, thinking, and expression. God is chaotic, ungovernable by external forces, yet composed, calm, and self-assured. God is omnipresent in every nook and cranny of nature and the universe.

You are essentially God in the human form , Black Man, according to your own unique talents and gifts.

Black Men, by accepting that reality, we unlock the GOD (or GODDESS lol) that is within the Black Woman. That gives her the opportunity to materialize ourselves, through her own talents and gifts, on this plane of human existence. Although we shouldn’t be looking at a two dimensional television screen in the first place, there’s a reason there’s an extreme dearth of Black Man-Black Woman relationships portrayed in a positive light on the screen. The Black Man-Black Woman relationship  will destroy this reality as we know it.

Yet the more they promote  the “We Are All Equal” message, interracial marriages, integration, etc., the wheels keep rolling on.

We’ve ALLOWED the powers-that-be to do unimaginable things to neuter and control our God nature. From the death foods,  restrictive religion and unimaginative spirituality, to the train-to-serve-Massa style of education and the mundane joy-killing life routines, we really are DEAD MEN WALKING!

I’ll give you an example, by way of a close friend of mine: For those of you who still frequent church , I want you to do an observation. Check out whose  doing most of the work in the church. Is it the men or the women? And on any given Sunday, check out the body language of the men versus the women during service? Who’s into the message more so than the other?

The Black Woman is game, guys. She’s indeed LIT, waiting for that spark **wink wink**. In spite of the wave of new age feminism and the “I Don’t Need a Man” foolishness, nonetheless, Black women who have the desire to express true  womanhood have no problem following the leadership of a man. They’re just following  the wrong man, consciously and subconsciously. And it’s killing them on ALL LEVELS (a great reference to check out on this matter is “The Wounded Womb” by Dr. Phil Valentine.) If there is ONE reason the Black Woman shouldn’t be in the workplace (besides the fact that it goes against her nature as a woman)  it is that Black Men (those who are Black-minded) can’t really protect her from the stresses of a white male-dominated workplace (e.g. sexual harassment) considering its NOT  a domain he created.

 

 

With the way I think now, I can honestly say that there are not ANY Black Men, peer or elder, in my life that I know personally who has the ability to stand on their own two feet, including myself, absent the assistance of the white male in any fashion. I know men who have parts to them that are valid and resonate with me tremendously, but they, we, are not WHOLE as men, still operating by the whims of colonizers.

That’s how I see it.

I accept the possibility that I may never experience total liberation as a Black Man in my lifetime. But that won’t keep me from trying.

It’s what I strive for now…as a Black Man.

Because in my heart of hearts, there is nothing else worth living for…as a Black Man!

 

 

I hope there are a few of you out there, my Black brethren, that share that same sentiment.

 

 

Peace and Love to my melanated family,

The Melanin Man