Food For Thought: Throwing Out the Word “Compromise” Vicariously

 

 

 

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From the Melanated Man:

 

Through my own life experiences, I’ve been IN-SPIRED to write about a subject that is very touchy when it involves all types of relationships.

Whewwwwww… MANNN!

I’ve been itching to write this post for over a year now and I feeling have the motivation to do it. Everyone in some capacity know a little something something about this word. I personally have great internal conflict when an dispute incurs between certain loved ones and I and the word is mentioned (99.9% of the time I’m not the one saying it) effortlessly without giving much though to what happens when it occurs.

Compromise. SMH.

It’s something we have to do to simply exist in life, in every facet of this life,  in THIS reality. From the day we are born we have to compromise, we WERE compromised i.e. if you consider the fact we were infected with vaccinations under the premise of “protecting us.” We have to compromise to prolong relationships at work, in marriage, friendships, you name it, just so they can survive,though not necessarily blossom.  For those of us who are Black Melanin-Dominant, melanin-rich, hundred of years even before the days of America’s birth, we’ve compromised our culture and identity just so we can “live another day.”

What kind of PARADIGM have we, brothers and sistas, compromised ourselves to be a part of?

Have you ever took a deep look at the definition of compromise?

 

Definition of compromise, by way of Google dictionary:

noun:

  1. an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.

verb:

  1. settle a dispute by mutual concession.
  2. accept standards that are lower than is desirable.

 

In my most humble opinion, this is THE MOST divisive act to the development of ALL MAN and WO-MAN!  No matter the amount of melanin content in and out of your body.

When it boils down to it, each and every one of us are the sum of our relationships, specifically the quality (not quantity) of them. Yet the quality of the relationship that you have for yourself is what matters the most in determining the quality of your life. And each time you decide to compromise your  overall essence to appease others and “protect yourself,” you are unknowingly killing yourself spiritually so not to offend others.

Now, I’m not referring to compromise when it comes to the trivialities, silliness. I’m talking about concerns (i.e. belief system, lifestyle choices, etc.) that are foundational to any relationship.

If you really, truly love yourself (not a love that is SELFISH) that emanates from within you, and is grounded in the TRUTH, THE REALNESS OF LIFE, you will seek those  external relationships that will only ENHANCE the love that you already have within YOURSELF.

For example, my brothers and sistas…

  • If you value family and community, you’ll seek a spouse(s?) that value procreation, “be fruitful and multiply,” aspects of life over the mundaneness of career advancement and accolades.
  • If we value our MELANATED TEMPLES the way we ought to, we would at best skeptical of what goes in and on the surface of our  bodies.
  • If we were aware, let alone valued, who, what, and where we truly came from, there would be a MILLION THINGS we wouldn’t tolerate as a people from others.

 

 

 

Image result for compromise black people

 

 

You WILL NOT COMPROMISE yourself out of F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) of  inclusion, loneliness, rejection, ridicule, extinction. And the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on…

It’s based of the illusion of fear. This is a MIND GAME (rather MIND FUCK!) we’ve been duped into playing.

On a more personal note, recently over the 9-10 months, I’ve come to the conclusion that some relationships, whether marital, familial, non-familial, etc. are in your life for a season (no matter the length of time) for a reason. If you’re lucky enough to have realized your purpose in life, you have to align yourself properly to walk in that purpose, no matter the circumstances. That may mean letting go of certain relationships you hold near and dear. Husbands, wives, parents, siblings, friends and in some cases, your own children. Trust me, typing that last sentence was tough. That’s a hard pill to swallow.  As I’ve become the man that I need to be, I have inadvertently created some tough decisions that I will have to make later down the road. I’m almost certain of that.  Yet at the end of the day we all individually have a destiny and we have a responsibility to walk in it. Some of us are fortunate enough to know our paths, and others are even more fortunate enough be attached to others that share that same path.

Birds of a feather truly flock together. Where there are those who are of ONE MIND, compromise DOES NOT exist.

 

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted

 

On a broader scope, family, there may be some people that we may need to let go to truly thrive individually and collectively. Hey, there are those of us who don’t see the benefit of altering their consumption in ALL areas of our lives. There are a multitude of us who don’t give a DAMN about their melanin-rich skin,  Black-African culture and MY-STERY, or Black-African solidarity in general.

Simply put, there are too many of us who don’t WANT  TO AWAKE FROM OUR SLUMBER!

And you can’t help those that won’t help themselves. Does that mean you should compromise your character and integrity to keep the relationship afloat?

HELL NO! But that’s just me.

Yet stay positive and hopeful for better days for those relationships you decide to move on from. There will always be a connection, and you never know, yours paths may cross once more. And things may be different the next go around. Life has a funny way of throwing boomerangs at you!

Know who you are and stay true to yourself, fam. Consider removing the term compromise from your vocabulary altogether.

You’d be doing YOUR SOUL a TREMENDOUS service.

 

Peace and Love to my melanated family,

The Melanin Man

 

Sending you off with some more quotes!

 

If you constantly compromise things in your life how will you ever realize your full potential1

 

 

Compromise is but the sacrifice of one right or good in the hope of retaining another - too often ending in the loss of both. Tryon Edwards

 

Whatever you compromise to gain, you will lose. Myles Munroe

 

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Relationships are to be earned not Compromised for

Fine, we'll compromise. I'll get my way & you'll find a way to be okay with thatAll compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. Fo… Mahatma Gandhi

 

Don't compromise even if it hurts to be yourself. Toby Keith

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. Janis Joplin

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Food For Thought: Throwing Out the Word “Compromise” Vicariously

    • Ha! It’s damn near impossible! I think the institution of marriage in this day and age is another “box”, or trap to keep the individuals involved from becoming the men and women they were destined to be. That’s what I’m beginning to realize for myself, but I wouldn’t discourage anyone from jumping into it. Some lessons have to be learned through personal experience and each person’s experiences and the lessons they learn from them are different as well. I don’t regret my decision to get married; it has been quite an journey. I’ve become a better man, better person and it has taught me a lot about myself and the world in general. Yet as my knowledge based has increased over the last couple of years, I’ve noticed and feel the limitations the institution itself, not necessarily my spouse, places on you. Especially a marriage that is based on religion, like 99.9% of them are. And a lot of the time men and women enter into a relationship not WHOLE individually and that causes problems when only one of the spouses begins to change and it’s not in a way the other one particularly wants them too. Even if that change is for the betterment of the family in the long run. Bottom line, marriage in the traditional sense, where compromise is a major necessity, is NOT conducive to individual spiritual growth. That’s what I’ve learned so far. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I do love my wife and two girls. That’ll never change no matter the circumstances. That’s my two cents! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Word! That was more like 97 cents! Thank you! I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share.

        I’ve never been married, but I completely get where you’re coming from with the structure of marriage stagnating your growth. And from what I gathered, sometimes you have to do certain things because you’re supposed to as a husband (or father, friend or brother, etc, right?), but not necessarily because you, as an individual, want to. BUT, that is not always a bad thing.

        Can you do a post on this? Your wonderful response is worth a post in and of itself, really. Thanks again for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • No it’s not always a bad thing lol…. I’ve been planning on doing a post on that topic for a while, so I’ll probably put one out in the near future. I’m still learning about marriage, so whatever thoughts I post will certainly not be set in stone. But I’ll be honest that’s for sure.

        Liked by 1 person

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