Props to Blackseeddiet, via Kushite Prince, for sharing this information…
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Props to Blackseeddiet, via Kushite Prince, for sharing this information…
View original post 1,426 more words
From the Melanin Man:
How ironic I discuss this topic only a couple of days from my anniversary. But I feel the need to get this off my chest right now, so to hell with it.
I haven’t been married that long. Most would assume that I need more years under my belt to be qualified to speak on the topic of marriage, to spit out some worthwhile wisdom.
Well, I beg to differ.
In the four years that I’ve been “officially” married (not counting two years of courting and breaking up, making up sessions), I’ve learned a lifetime’s worth of wisdom regarding this pastime called marriage. And that wisdom has been supplemented with even more knowledge from speaking with older men and elders who have been married (and some cases, divorced!) longer than I’ve been married.
I have observed many things within the confines of marriage, but there are three in particular that stand out to me, such as:
1. Man and woman (the definition of a authentic marriage) tend to come into the situation with unrealistic expectations of who and what their spouse SHOULD be to them. When I decided go through my personal transformation, my wife was supportive when it came to improving my physical health and losing weight, even though she did not like the method that I was going about it. It was major adjustment for her when I dropped meat from my diet, and she continues to this day to remind me how she misses that part of me.
Regarding my intellectually and spiritual growth, she has had major reservations. Giving up religion and traditional concept of God has not gone over well for her. She does not fully respect my newfound opinions on what Black life should be, the importance of melanin, how life and reality is not what it seems, etc. She is weary of the direction that I am going.
2. In this Westernized version of marriage, it is virtually impossible to have a relationship (intimate or non-intimate) with the opposite sex, other than your spouse. Surprise, surprise. This one is a given. But if know anything about the nature of man, it is not the most realistic to maintain. Recently in my life, I have came across women who have intrigued me, not necessarily sexually, but mentally and spiritually in ways that have been comparable, and in some cases, more than what I have received from my wife.
And you know the funny thing? I don’t feel once ounce of guilt.
3. The imagery of a marriage in this society matters a little too much these days. We know marriage will not be “perfect” from any stretch of the imagination. But that doesn’t stop married folk from putting on a front in the midst of family and friends. Everyone wants to play Keep Up With the Jones. Every married couple on some level seeks to strive for that white picket fence, “American Dream” fantasy. Competition, a sacred American tradition, is the sacred underlying factor in all of this.
I’ve never been the competitive type either. At this juncture in my life, I don’t give two flying you-know-whats about what people think about me. Now, my wife on the other hand…
She’s not materialistic whatsoever, but she does have a very strong tendency to care about what others think about her, and that extends into the family unit. That appears to be a common trait amongst Westernized, Americanized women, no matter ethnicity.
This Westernized, religified version of marriage serves as a microcosm to the current reality that dominates the scene, a restrictive condition to the true nature and potential of the archetypal Black Man and Black Woman.
As I stated in a post concerning the drawbacks of compromising, in reference to individual growth, when both spouses have totally different mindsets it creates problems. I said it once, I said it twice, and I’ll say it again: MEN CREATE THE REALITY, WOMEN MAINTAIN IT! In my case, I have chosen a mindset that embraces my Black nature, and I desire to create the reality based off of it. My wife, like the majority of our Black women in this paradigm, has the mindset of what I explained in number 3 above (and here.) And there is the dilemma.
I want nothing to do with that foolishness. It goes against everything that I’m trying to be as a Black Man who is becoming more aware by the millisecond. The sad part about it is that I truly and dearly love my wife, and there is potential in her to cross over into the dark side.
But love is NOT enough in this war for Black liberation.
Despite what has been preached by the state and its sheep, love and marriage are not synonymous with each other. Now, I understand why arranged marriages were prevalent and still occur to this day, basically because it’s not based off the superficiality of love we’ve been duped into practicing these days (Gotta check out “The Science of Love” by John Baines, folks!) Marriage SHOULD be considered a partnership, a business arrangement to achieve a common goal. In the case of liberation for the Black Man and Black Woman and a return back to their archetypal selves, marriage SHOULD be used as a weapon to achieve that goal.
For any other reason, we’re just playing a GAME, like any other card game, board game, or video game we’ve past the time with. That’s what the powers-that-be (or the powers-that-wanna-be) have turned it into, a profitable one on so many levels. And just like any game you play, you have boundaries, rules and regulations you have to abide by.
“NO CHEATING ON THE TEST.”
“NO CHEATING ON YOUR TAXES.”
“NO CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE.”
(Side note 1: I can do a post strictly on the word “cheat”, and how the powers-that-wanna-be use the label to keep people in check. I just might.)
I always wondered when it came to the topic of having affairs, mistresses, side chicks or side dudes, the accused would be cursed with that label.
Courtesy of Google :
1. act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage especially in a game or examination.
2. avoid (something undesirable) by luck or skill.
1. a person who behaves dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.
A couple of questions:
1. If you told your spouse upfront you were having feelings or thoughts for another man/woman without physically acting on it, would you still be a “cheater?”
The act has already been birthed in your mind, so the act has already occurred. That’s what matters anyway…mind OVER matter, baby!
2. Are you really cursed with sin because you had feelings for another man/woman besides your spouse?
(I’m telling you, you need to check out that book.)
Take a look at nature amongst animals. How many monogamous relationships do you find in the animal kingdom? “But man is greater than animal,” you say. “He should know better than.” Is that your ego talking or are you’re just repeating what you’ve been told?
I can say with all honesty that the animal kingdom has an advantage. A tiger knows what it is. An eagle knows what it is. A bear knows what it is.
Do you know what you are, Black Man and Black Woman?
Once upon a time long ago, when Black folk dominated the world stage, polygamy was not a side-eye taboo. It was our culture. A few countries today still practice the tradition, but it’s not prevalent as it used to be. And definitely not in the regions of the earth that it should be in this day and age.
Every wonder why polygamy is illegal and shunned in the West (the dominant power at the moment?) IGNORE the propaganda, it just so happens the cream-of-the-crop Black Men and Women also reside in the West. Even though the majority of us are the walking dead, our genes are still second-to-none on the planet. This is due in part to the times of “slavery”, with the mixing of blood between the different captive African tribes.
When the time comes when we WAKE UP (its happening as we speak in bits and pieces), and we practice that culture and walk out our destiny…
The Black Man, who is connected to his archetypal self and knows HIS-story, has the capability to love more than one woman. That same Black Man will not fool around with any woman outside of the one he already has if they are not of the same frequency, and if it does not perpetuate a reality of Black empowerment and unity that can benefit ALL PARTIES INVOLVED.
The Black Woman, who is connected to her archetypal self and knows her culture, understands and overstands that her worth is NOT determined by the ability to have and KEEP her man. The Black Woman knows her ability to nurture the spark of that man (his seed, which, in the physical form translates to children, and the mental and spiritual form translates to that reality mentioned previously) is of the upmost importance.
In this paradigm, the state has used marriage in its limited form as a tool to keep not only Black folk, but the masses in general, docile, under control, and for accounting purposes. They have certainly made marriage an institution that is CONSUMERISTIC BY NATURE and only benefits those who wish to keep and maintain power.
What is one of the top reasons for divorce (which is another lucrative byproduct from marriage if and when it dissolves, concocted by the state?)
A consumeristic marriage is a prosperous marriage in this reality.
Remember when I said marriage is only a “microcosm” on what occurs on the grand scale?
Can you imagine a marital union structure that doesn’t have to depend on fiat money to be successful? One where there was less competition and more cooperation and sharing amongst one another?
Less capitalistic and more collective?
LESS MONOGOMOUS AND MORE POLYGAMOUS???
Our husbands and wives would stop looking at each other as their property, and more like unique beings in the human form.
(Side note 2: You apply this thinking in religion, it’s funny how the popular religions of today are styled in monotheism, versus polytheism that was prominent back in the day. Just saying…)
I can go on and on about this, and there will probably be more posts to follow concerning this matter. But I think I’ve said enough to digest for a while on this one.
What I’ve said I don’t say out of spite or misery. Because besides the occasional argument me and my wife may have or the observations I listed previously, I’m pretty satisfied with my marriage. We have a good situation going on, according the benchmark set by the current paradigm.
I’m just calling it like I see it. I seek liberation in and around my life on every level; the status quo doesn’t bother her that much. It is only so far we can go before one of us will have to submit and compromise to keep this ball rolling.
Hopefully it’s not muah. But that’s why we play the game, so to speak.
SMH…that’s a crying shame.
Peace and Love to my melanated family,
The Melanin Man
From the Melanin Man:
I’ve been meaning to push to post out now for a couple weeks, but been sidetracked with my mundane work tasks lol. It may be my birthday today (yay!) but I’ve been needing to get this post off my chest, so…
(Side note: Plus, let’s be real. If the current calendar had never been concocted by the powers-that-be, we would never know when our birthdays would be. Is it really that big of a deal? lol )
I wrote about the importance of our women, now it’s time to focus on the Black Man.
To my Black brothers from other mothers, I have to be honest with you…
We are the walking dead!
And I’m not just talking about those of us who are in jail, unemployed, deadbeat husbands and fathers, or whatever label the media places on us.
I’m talking about the ENTIRE LOT of us. Even the very small few of us who are succeeding, according to European standards, are fading away as well.
Ask yourself this question, Black Man: Are you REALLY the head of your household when you’re respecting the rules and regulations put in place by another species of man? When will we realize that we can’t break away from those who don’t care for us if they are the ones educating, employing, clothing, and feeding us?
No wonder the majority of our Black Women have lost respect for us, Black Man, consciously and subconsciously. Whether or not we’re living in the household.
Who told us and set the standard for what a legal marriage should be?
Who gives us the two thumbs up when we decide choose to divorce?
Who do our women run to in order to receive child support and alimony from?
For me personally, the more I see the bullshit, the more I realize I’m NOT the man I want or need to be! Black Man, we need to create our own reality, a reality that will benefit the welfare of our women and children.
We should NOT mimic a man who is quite honestly physically, mentally, and spiritually inferior to the Black Man in every way.
WE should NOT place the protection and security of that reality within the womb of a woman who is NOT the original woman on the planet, the Black Woman.
(Another side note: Even at a young age, my mama would tell me, “You betta not bring no white gurl to my house.” Funny thing is, my mama is not nearly as conscious as I am today. She’s a Christian woman through and through lol. But she was aware enough to make such a statement. I could never understand how a self-proclaimed woman of God could say such a thing.
But as I gotten older, I get it. No matter how much the media tries to brainwash us, nature is nature. If you are of nature, you want to be with your own.
Annnnnnd, it made me realize how much of a farce religion truly is. )
Black Man, bottom line, you are NOT EQUAL to your white, Caucasoid counterpart! For those of you who disagree, I don’t apologize. You can call me prejudice, racist, or flat out a bigot. This is how I see it, and there ain’t nothing going to change that.
So what should we aspire to be, brethren?
When you carry the God-particle (MELANIN!), you are suppose to express yourself and reality as such: in a GOD-FORM!! That may sound preposterous, even borderline pompous and arrogant to many of us quite frankly.
But do your research. It’s TRUTH!
What is God?
I don’t believe in that superhero, -miracle-working human archetype, birthed from the Westernized, European frame of mind. That’s how the white, Caucasoid mindset perceives it, and want the masses to perceive it.
In my opinion, God is boundless and unlimited in its creativity, thinking, and expression. God is chaotic, ungovernable by external forces, yet composed, calm, and self-assured. God is omnipresent in every nook and cranny of nature and the universe.
You are essentially God in the human form , Black Man, according to your own unique talents and gifts.
Black Men, by accepting that reality, we unlock the GOD (or GODDESS lol) that is within the Black Woman. That gives her the opportunity to materialize ourselves, through her own talents and gifts, on this plane of human existence. Although we shouldn’t be looking at a two dimensional television screen in the first place, there’s a reason there’s an extreme dearth of Black Man-Black Woman relationships portrayed in a positive light on the screen. The Black Man-Black Woman relationship will destroy this reality as we know it.
Yet the more they promote the “We Are All Equal” message, interracial marriages, integration, etc., the wheels keep rolling on.
We’ve ALLOWED the powers-that-be to do unimaginable things to neuter and control our God nature. From the death foods, restrictive religion and unimaginative spirituality, to the train-to-serve-Massa style of education and the mundane joy-killing life routines, we really are DEAD MEN WALKING!
I’ll give you an example, by way of a close friend of mine: For those of you who still frequent church , I want you to do an observation. Check out whose doing most of the work in the church. Is it the men or the women? And on any given Sunday, check out the body language of the men versus the women during service? Who’s into the message more so than the other?
The Black Woman is game, guys. She’s indeed LIT, waiting for that spark **wink wink**. In spite of the wave of new age feminism and the “I Don’t Need a Man” foolishness, nonetheless, Black women who have the desire to express true womanhood have no problem following the leadership of a man. They’re just following the wrong man, consciously and subconsciously. And it’s killing them on ALL LEVELS (a great reference to check out on this matter is “The Wounded Womb” by Dr. Phil Valentine.) If there is ONE reason the Black Woman shouldn’t be in the workplace (besides the fact that it goes against her nature as a woman) it is that Black Men (those who are Black-minded) can’t really protect her from the stresses of a white male-dominated workplace (e.g. sexual harassment) considering its NOT a domain he created.
With the way I think now, I can honestly say that there are not ANY Black Men, peer or elder, in my life that I know personally who has the ability to stand on their own two feet, including myself, absent the assistance of the white male in any fashion. I know men who have parts to them that are valid and resonate with me tremendously, but they, we, are not WHOLE as men, still operating by the whims of colonizers.
That’s how I see it.
I accept the possibility that I may never experience total liberation as a Black Man in my lifetime. But that won’t keep me from trying.
It’s what I strive for now…as a Black Man.
Because in my heart of hearts, there is nothing else worth living for…as a Black Man!
I hope there are a few of you out there, my Black brethren, that share that same sentiment.
Peace and Love to my melanated family,
The Melanin Man
Enjoy your Friday, fam!
Peace and Love to my melanated family,
The Melanin Man
Article posted on Waking Times (click link for original)
Dylan Charles, Editor
“What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” ~Morpheus, The Matrix
Ever get the feeling that reality isn’t really what we think it is?
The further science, technology and human evolution take us the more questions we have about the nature of reality and the role of consciousness. Is this a hologram or an illusion? Are we dreaming or in a simulation? Do we shift between parallel universes as we make different choices? And what of the spiritual dimensions? Are human beings really just a single unified cosmic consciousness experiencing itself from billions of points of isolated and limited perception? Does anyone know for sure?
Few are privy to the secrets of reality, but the journey of awakening begins when one starts questioning everything. Whether it be the big global conspiracies, secret societies, the corporate control matrix, big pharma and the medical cartel, the banking establishment, the shape of the earth, or the purpose of life, the journey is at first an inquisition.
Along the way you notice ways in which approaching life with an open-mind changes you, and how it turns long-held beliefs and assumptions upside down, forever altering your perception and relation to it all.
We learn primarily by mimicry…. monkey see, monkey do. As a child grows and develops consciousness over time, they move from confusion to differentiation, to situational awareness, then to identification, ultimately arriving at self-awareness. By the time they become self-aware, their perception of what the world is all about is well-formed. The programs in play here affect the rest of their lives.
“We laugh at sheep because sheep just follow the one in front. We humans have out-sheeped the sheep, because at least the sheep need a sheep dog to keep them in line. Humans keep each other in line. And they do it by ridiculing or condemning anyone who commits the crime, and that’s what it’s become, of being different.” ~David Icke
Conformity to patterns of thought and patterns of behavior are learned, and when you watch people closely, you notice that most of them are imitating the examples they’ve seen their whole lives. Emotional behavior, notions of success, relationships, rules, laws, and even love for self are all ingrained programs, many of which need to be undone in order for spiritual growth to occur.
If we can be programmed, we can also be re-programmed.
Advertisers, governments, media organizations and business are quickly learning that in this new age of technological wonders capturing people’s attention is priority number one. Attention is the greatest commodity of today.
With so much competition for your attention, you begin to realize how valuable it is to others, and eventually you realize how valuable it is to yourself. You notice that what you give your attention to creates the environment in which you live, and therefore the information and ideas you focus on and consume will work together to shape your personal reality.
This is why it is absolutely essential to consciously direct your focus where it is deserved, carefully choosing which ideas and perspectives are worthy of your time and congruent with the life you wish to lead. And your time is your life, so your attention is priceless.
It only takes the right scrap of information, the right quote, or the right idea at the right time to change your whole understanding of the world.
“Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.” ~Wayne Dyer
Again, media organizations and propagandists already know this, which is why news is crafted the way it is, carefully framing, suggesting and omitting ideas so as to manage the perceptions of the masses. The crux of mind control is perception management.
When you begin to question everything, you start to wonder if your perceptions and belief about society and your own life are really true. You wonder if they are your own perceptions or if they belong to someone else. You begin to ask if your outlook is based on the complete picture, or if it is based on a limited understanding and a limited knowing.
When you grasp this, you begin to understand just how much power you have to control your own perceptions, and then your own reality, and are no longer bound to the whims of others.
The eyes turn tricks with light to create images inside the brain using only a tiny fraction of the entire spectrum of electromagnetic frequencies in front of us. The subconscious mind makes a fool of the conscious mind by secretly adding depth and meaning to the images we create. These images combine with experience to form beliefs, and the ego constructs an identity out of them. Above all of this sits the spirit, watching and waiting for an opportunity to break free from the illusions of what we think it means to be alive and conscious in a material world.
But the world we are in is insufferably material, and this materialism works magic with light, symbols and imagery in order to create illusions. Illusions about authority, happiness, truth and success can be incredibly powerful, but upon deeper inquiry, you’ll eventually notice that nothing is ever what it seems.
The rich and famous aren’t always happy or healthy. Those who enforce the law don’t always follow the law. The powerful are often bested by the weak. The aim of politics is not to unite, but to divide. Time isn’t money, it is your life. And on and on.
“We live in a culture where everything tastes good but nothing satisfies.” ~Daniel Pinchbeck
In the exploration of the self, fear is the first thing to go, and once it is unwound and cast aside a tremendous sense of freedom takes over, defying the negative shock programming in our world today. This runs counter to the messages of the media who rely on stoking fear to control and to sell, but once you’ve broken through the illusions that create a false reality, and are able to see that love is the organizing force in our universe, fear dissolves entirely.
“Everything is the light.” ~Nikola Tesla
Eventually, upon self-reflection, it becomes clear that consciousness and the soul are eternal. We truly are cosmic beings having a human experience, and we are capable of knowing that once this existence comes to an end something greater and more magical awaits us.
The greatest realization of them all is that there is nothing to fear.
Our shared world is created by the collected thoughts and actions of individuals. Therefore, to change the world for the better we must first elevate our own consciousness so that we may overcome the traps and obstacles set before us by a dying culture and a psychopathic power structure. The only way to do this is to turn our attention onto the act of understanding how we as individuals perceive and relate to the world we share. This is how we evolve.
“You have to take seriously the notion that understanding the universe is your responsibility, because the only understanding of the universe that will be useful to you is your own understanding.” ~Terence McKenna
“BUYER BEWARE!!!! McDonald’s cannot be trusted.”
Article posted on Collective-Evolution (click link for original)
By Alanna Ketler
As a teenager I worked at McDonald’s. I became an expert in the drive-thru and even received a round of applause from the staff once during a busy lunch rush for taking every order effectively and without making a single mistake. I loved this job at the time, as it was a lot of fun. Yet I remember the day I questioned why we didn’t have a vegetarian menu, to which my manager responded, “People who don’t eat meat wouldn’t want to eat at McDonald’s even if there were a vegetarian option.” And you know what? I couldn’t agree more.
I know some of you vegetarians or vegans are out there saying, “Speak for yourself, I’d definitely eat this,” and that’s totally fine. People go vegetarian or vegan for many reasons, and health isn’t always one of them. In fact, being vegan or vegetarian doesn’t always mean being healthy, as you can take on the lifestyle while still eating primarily processed foods like imitation meats made from soy and artificial flavourings, fried foods, vegan sweets, etc. For such people, being vegan or vegetarian is strictly a moral choice, made out of concern for the environment or animal welfare, not in hopes of achieving better health.
However, I think a greater number of vegans and vegetarians gave up animal products in order to improve their health, in addition to their concern for animal welfare. Moreover, strict vegans would not eat this McVegan burger because, even though it does not contain animal products, buying it would still mean supporting a massive corporation that is responsible for the death and slaughter of MILLIONS of animals each year. Essentially, nothing coming from McDonald’s could ever truly be “vegan.”
It’s unlikely that anyone choosing this diet and lifestyle would want to eat anything from McDonald’s in the first place, except maybe out of curiosity. If Mickey D’s wasn’t a place people went to for health food before, why would it be now? Yet McDonald’s is clearly trying to cash in on this growing market, and some consumers, at least, are happy about it.
The McVegan was launched in Finland last week because customers had been requesting more plant-based and meat-free options. Accompanied by a signature vegan “McFeast” sauce, the burger runs for around the same price as their regular beef or chicken burger.
According to the Marketing Director of McDonal’d’s Finland, Christopher Rönnblad, “We will consider launching the McVegan in all McDonald’s restaurants in Finland in 2018. The decision will depend on our customers opinion on McVegan. The very first test sales results, customer feedback, and the attention the product is getting in different vegan communities are very promising,”
McDonald’s also introduced the Le Grand Veggie Burger in France, which was the first of its kind in the country. This burger features a patty made with carrots and root vegetables, which definitely sounds like a healthier option. There is a growing trend of people choosing to eat less meat in France, and again, it seems like McDonald’s didn’t want to miss the boat on this opportunity. The McVeggie was added to its menus in locations across Norway as well.
Perhaps it is a bit too harsh to judge McDonalds for introducing these items to their menus. I mean, at least they are trying, right? Is this a step in the right direction? By giving their customers a vegan option, are they encouraging a plant-based diet? It’s tough to say for sure, but when it comes down to it, it really seems as though McDonald’s is not doing this because they care for the environment, animal welfare, or the health of their customers — they are doing it to tap into a growing market that they traditionally couldn’t access.
So, will these veggie options come to North America? And if so, would YOU try the McVegan or the Le Grand Veggie burger? Let us know in the comments!
Article posted on Collective-Evolution (click link for original)
Arjun Walia – September 7, 2017
Ego: It’s something all of us have, yet most of us don’t really understand. According to Eckhart Tolle, who has written two of the most influential “spiritual” books of our time, “Most people are so completely identified with the voice in the head—the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it—that we may describe them as being possessed by their mind.”
“As long as you are completely unaware of this,” he continues, “you take the thinker to be who you are. This is the egoic mind. We call it egoic because there is a sense of self, of I (ego), in every thought—every memory, every interpretation, opinion, viewpoint, reaction, emotion. This is unconscious, spiritually speaking.
All quotes taken from A New Earth.
He goes on to explain how our thoughts and thought patterns are conditioned by our past experiences, family life and upbringing, and overall environment that surrounds us.
“The central core of all your mind activity consists of certain repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions, and reactive patterns that you identify with most strongly. This entity is the ego itself.”
The ego is full of thoughts and emotions with which each of us identify and which cause us to play certain roles in certain situations, without even being aware of it. And we have “collective identifications such as nationality, religion, race, social class, or political allegiance.”
“It also contains personal identifications, not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearance, long-standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good as others, as a success or failure.”
He also describes how all our egos are essentially the same:
The content of the ego varies from person to person, but in every ego the same structure operates. In other words: Egos only differ on the surface. Deep down they are all the same. In what way are they the same? They live on identification and separation. When you live through the mind-made self comprised of thought and emotion that is the ego, the basis for your identity is precarious because thought and emotion are bey their very nature ephemeral, fleeting. So every ego is continuously struggling for survival, trying to protect and enlarge itself. To uphold the I-thought, it needs the opposite thought of “the other.” The others are most other when I see them as my enemies. At one end of the scale of this unconscious egoic pattern lies the egoic compulsive habit of faultfinding and complaining about others. Jesus referred to it when he said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
Complaining and Resentment
What is complaining? A lot of the time it is a lack of gratitude and awareness. It’s a feeling that places us in the victim mentality, a feeling that ‘something has happened to me.’ This is the ‘I’ to which Tolle refers. Complaining is the result of your mind taking on certain beliefs about how things should be and then finding fault when they end up being something else. It’s, as Tolle points out, “a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in.”
“When you are in the grip of such an ego, complaining, especially about other people, is habitual and, of course, unconscious, which means you don’t know what you are doing.”
Another part of this is blame, which often goes hand in hand with complaining. When you feel as if something has been “done to you” by someone else, you are completely engulfed in your ego. While this doesn’t apply to all situations, it does to most. Judging and complaining about another person often reflects ourselves and our inner state. Stating that “he is this” or “she is like that” is simply, again, a story your mind is making up based on various observations and experiences.
This happens all the time. Having thoughts about someone else in general indicates that your mind is making up a story, whether “good” or “bad.”
“Applying negative mental labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when you speak about them to others or even just think about them, is often part of this pattern. Name-calling is the crudest form of such labeling and of the ego’s need to be right and triumph over others: ‘jerk, bastard, bitch’—all definitive pronouncements that you can’t argue with.”
The ego will then gather with others, to confirm and encourage these views. We mask these tendencies by claiming they are normal, that when we are upset, we confide in others. But really, it’s just gathering with those we know will “support us” and agree with our viewpoints when we are upset.
“Resentment is the emotion that goes with complaining and the mental labeling of people and adds even more energy to the ego. Resentment means to feel bitter, indignant, aggrieved, or offended. You resent other people’s greed, their dishonesty, their lack of integrity, what they are doing, what they did in the past, what they said, what they failed to do, what they should or shouldn’t have done. The ego loves it. Instead of overlooking unconsciousness in others, you make it into their identity. Who is doing that? The unconsciousness in you, the ego. Sometimes the ‘fault’ that you perceive in another isn’t even there. It is a total misinterpretation, a projection by a mind conditioned to see enemies and to make itself right or superior. At other times, the fault may be there, but by focusing on it, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else, you amplify it. And what you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself.”
“Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were. By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned.”
Nonreaction, calm, and inner peace are key. This type of inner state, unless you’re a monk or other spiritual teacher, will also bring reaction from others within the “spiritual community.” Those who strive to diminish these aspects of the ego are constantly challenged by people like this. Egoic feelings of jealousy and disbelief will emerge, and you need to mitigate these through your non-reactionary state. They may also be in so much disbelief at your non-reactionary state that they simply believe you are “holding it in” or “building it up.”
“At times you may have to take practical steps to protect yourself from deeply unconscious people. This you can do without making them enemies. Your greatest protection, however, is being conscious. Somebody becomes an enemy if you personalize the unconsciousness that is the ego. Nonreaction is not weakness but strength. Another word for nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.”
Tolle does clarify that complaining is not to be confused with putting up with bad behaviour or quality. He uses the example of being served cold soup. You can tell your server nicely that your soup is cold and you would like it warmed up, which is different from complaining and making a statement such as, “How dare you serve me cold soup.”
The key to mitigating our complaining and resentment is to simply become aware of it and observe it. So many of us complain so regularly that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s an unconscious habit that becomes a part of our everyday lives, so much so that people will even try to defend their right to complain.
“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just as an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist. The old mind-pattern or mental habit may still survive and reoccur for a while because it has the momentum of thousands of years of collective human unconsciousness behind it, but every time it is recognized, it is weakened. “
Reactivity and Grievances
Reaction is one way for the ego to grow itself. We instantly react to a person or a situation in our lives that triggers and emotional response. In my experience, when you become aware of your reactivity and emotional response, those triggers begin to fade away. It’s not to say that we cannot feel these emotions, and take them on, but rather that we usually feel those emotions and let them take over more when we are unaware of our reaction. The next step is to, while feeling the emotional trigger — be it anger, hate or resentment — control your reaction and observe yourself from a distance. The more you do this, the easier it will become for you to not react from your emotional response. Furthermore, the more you practice this type of self-awareness, controlling your reaction will not only become easier, but the emotional response will diminish. You will no longer take on feelings of anger and frustration; it will be as if you have a protective shield around you, or a force field. Reaching this state brings you closer to diminishing this aspect of the ego.
Without observing yourself or becoming aware of these aspects, the cycle will just continue repeating itself. In your own life, and for collective humanity as a whole.
“There are many people who are always waiting for the next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed about, and it never takes long before they find it. ‘This is an outrage,’ they say. ‘How dare you …’ ‘I resent this.’ They are addicted to upset and anger as others are to a drug. Through reacting against this or that they assert and strengthen their feeling of self. A long-standing resentment is called a grievance. To carry grievances is to be in a permanent state of ‘against,’ and that is why grievances constitute a significant part of many people’s ego. Collective grievances can survive for centuries in the psyche of a nation or a tribe and fuel a never-ending cycle of violence. A grievance is a strong negative emotion connected to an event in the sometimes distant past that is being kept alive by compulsive thinking, by retelling the story in the head or out loud of ‘what someone did to me’ or ‘what someone did to us.’ “
This is negative emotional energy that can also impact other areas of your life, including your health, given what we know about the mind-body connection.
Being Right, Making Wrong
This is a great transition from complaining. As Tolle explains, “When you complain, by implication you are right and the person or situation you complain about or react against is wrong. There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. Being right is identification with a mental position—a perspective, an opinion, a judgement, a story.”
Personally, I am very passionate about information about our world, more so because so much about what is happening on our planet isn’t really presented in mainstream media. When you come across cool facts, you want to share them with others. But when you share information with others, sometimes they are viewed as challenges, and people cut you off or ignore you, or are triggered to share even more information because they want to show that “they know a lot too.” That’s their ego. If they are challenged by new information, or by your also having knowledge, factors associated with ego will step in, and it’s a great lesson if you can watch and be aware of your emotional trigger and reaction. If, for example, you were a child sharing facts with an adult, the adult would be encouraging, and listen with wonder and awe at the child’s enthusiasm. But if you change that child into an adult and share the same information, the adult, in most cases, does not see the enthusiasm and can in fact be blinded by their own desire to know more, or to be right.
“For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong, and so the ego loves to make wrong in order to be right. In other words: You need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of you you are. Not only a person, but also a situation can be made wrong through complaining and reactivity, which always implies that ‘this should not be happening.’ Being right places you in a position of imagined moral superiority in relation to the person or situation that is being judged and found wanting. It is that sense of superiority the ego craves and through which it enhances itself.”
In Defence of an Illusion
Tolle brings up a great point here. As I mentioned above with the child example, facts exist, and sometimes we want to share them. This doesn’t mean that they always come from a place or intention of “being right,” or the ego, but rather a place of genuine passion and curiosity.
“Facts undoubtedly exist. If you say: ‘Light travels faster than sound,’ and someone else says the opposite in the case, you are obviously right, and he is wrong. The simple observation that lightning precedes thunder could confirm this. So not only are you right, but you know you are right. Is there any ego involved in this? Possibly, but not necessarily. If you are simply stating what you know to be true, the ego is not involved at all, because there is no identification. Identification with what? With mind and a mental position. Such identification, however, can easily creep in. If you find yourself saying, ‘Believe me, I know’ or ‘Why do you never believe me’ then ego has already crept in. . . . A simple statement: ‘Light is faster than sound,’ although true, is not in the service of illusion, of ego. It has become contaminated with a false sense of ‘I’; it has become personalized, turned into a mental position. The ‘I’ Feels diminished or offended because somebody doesn’t believe what ‘I’ said.”
Working in alternative media, and being an avid researcher of the entire human experience, I know what this is like. I’ve experienced anger when I share information and people don’t me. Inside, I always knew that that reaction was unnecessary, and that the response “I” receive shouldn’t matter, because I am comfortable within my own knowing.
Tolle goes on to describe the problem of the “I am right and you are wrong” type of mentality, and all of the trouble it’s caused for the world. He describes it as one of the ways the ego fuels itself, stating that “making yourself right and others wrong is a mental dysfunction that perpetuates separation and conflict between human beings.”
Does this mean that there is no such thing as “right” or “wrong?” Not necessarily. You can remain in your truth, and the truth you perceive to be, without the need to push it on others, or defend your position. To each his own.
You can still share your own truth without the need to be right, or to “win” an argument. If you are sharing information to be right or to “win,” as opposed to simply sharing from your soul, from your passion, from your excitement to share information, then you’re engulfed in your ego and allowing it to grow.
The Ego Is Not Personal
“On a collective level, the mind-set ‘We are right and they are wrong’ is particularly deeply entrenched in those parts of the world where conflict between two nations, races, tribes, religions, or ideologies is long-standing, extreme, and endemic. Both sides of the conflict are equally identified with their own perspective, their own ‘story,’ that is to say, identified with thought. Both are equally incapable of seeing that another perspective, another story, may exist and also be valid. Israeli writer Y. Halevi speaks of the possibility of ‘accommodating a competing narrative,’ but in many parts of the world, people are not yet able or willing to do that. Both sides believe themselves to be in possession of the truth. Both regard themselves as victims and the ‘other’ as evil, and because they have conceptualized and thereby dehumanized the other as the enemy, they can kill and inflict all kinds of violence on the other, even on children, without feeling their humanity and suffering.”
This is a great point, and shows how at the micro level, in everyday life, the human ego is present, which is also reflective of the collective attitude of “us” against “them.” Whether this narrative is being upheld and encouraged purposefully to create more separation between people, to further elitist agendas, is a topic for another debate, however. But the point is, we are in control. If more people on the planet worked on diminishing aspects of the ego, we would see a collective transformation as well, and perhaps that’s exactly what we’re going through: a collective evolution.
“Greed, selfishness, exploitation, cruelty, and violence are still all-pervasive on this plant. When you don’t recognize them as individual and collective manifestations of an underlying dysfunction or mental illness, you fall into the error of personalizing them. You construct a conceptual identify for an individual or group, and you say ‘This is who he is. This is who they are.’ When you confuse the ego that you perceive in others with their identity, it is the work of your own ego that uses this misperception to strengthen itself through being right and therefore superior, and through reacting with condemnation, indignation, and often anger against the perceived enemy. All this is enormously satisfying to the ego.”
Ego can be difficult to understand and discuss effectively, but it’s something that’s at the core of creating a change in the current human experience. Once humanity learns to transcend the collective ego, we will make tremendous advancements in how we communicate with each other, and probably enter into an age of abundance, or, “A New Earth.” It’s a key component of not just global change, but changes within our own personal lives as well.
There are many opportunities to transcend your ego, to lose your buttons so they cannot be pushed, to diminish your need to always be right or label others according to your own limited perceptions. The points made above from Tolle are simply a few important ones out of many, and you will no doubt gain a better understanding by checking out A New Earth, the book that inspired this article.
Standard Unconscious Black man/woman: “Is knowing Black African History going to get me a job at the end of the day?”
Me: A job is a temporary condition. The development and liberation of your mind, spirit, soul is eternal circumstance.
Enjoy your Monday!
YESSSSS!! I couldn’t have said it better than this, C.C. You’ve hit the nail and then some with this post! Thank you once more!
When I first started dating my boyfriend, he took me to a wharf alongside the Belt Parkway of New York City. It was the middle of the night and the city wore an unfamiliar silence as we walked alongside one another under the night sky. Our bubble of new love was abruptly popped when our eyes strayed from one another onto a dead animal frozen in it’s last position. It was not the animal or its death that ended our bliss but the symbolism it bore. Namely, what seemed a formidable place to spend time, proved a potential deathbed to those as dark as the sky above– our potential fate mirrored in the slain animal forgotten in city’s silence.
I share this anecdote to illustrate that choosing to date or marry black is sign on to a lifetime of these moments. If I decided to do as many women my…
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Ask yourself this question…
What does a Melanin-Dominant incarcerated individual and a Melanin-Dominant professional physician have on common besides the obvious?
In my opinion…
They both work, perpetuate, and support a system that is destructive to their anatomy and biology in the physical and metaphysical realms.
One is forced to against their will, the other one does it willingly. Financial stability and social status is only an illusion to segregate their commonality in the grand scheme of things.
At the end of the day they both have a common enemy… eradicating the Eurocentric lifestyle and mindset off the face of the earth!
Think about it, fam. Let me know your thoughts.
Peace and Love to my Melanated family,
The Melanated Man
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